Long time no talk! It's been a really really long time since I last posted. I think about 6 months? Most of the past months has been spent doing farm work so honestly I haven't had time nor wifi. I've also really needed a break from everything the last while to work on myself. Sometimes you get too caught up in everything and forget to take care of yourself and that's what happened to me. I was living but not thinking. I needed to work on myself and heal my mind. It sounds like I was depressed and no I have been happier than ever. But I have made poor decisions because of too much partying and not using my brain. That's normal for any 21 year old but I've never been like that so I needed to step back and remember who I am. When I drink alcohol I don't know my limits which turns me into someone I'm not. I love to party but I don't like drinking a lot so when I went to farm work and was trying to keep up with everyone, I just wasn't myself and I didn't show the best sides of me. But I've gotten past that now thankfully.

Anyways, I'll do a quick update from where I last left off. So, Linnea and I left to do farm work for a second year visa here in Australia. First we flew over to Western Australia. We spent some time in Perth with my Uncle and then went to a small town called Donnybrook to start our farm days. Let's just say Donnybrook is not somewhere you want to be. It was a fraud. We flew all the way to this working hostel from Melbourne only to get told once we got there that they didn't have much work. On the phone of course they said there was tons of work. We did construction and planting Christmas trees for one week and none of it counted as farm days. So we decided to head back to Perth and look for new work. The other problem with Donnybrook was that it was in the middle of absolute nowhere and at the hostel there was only 4 other people, all of who spent their days on the porch or watching movie after movie after movie. In this town there was one bar, one grocery store, a police station, a bakery, and a park. That was it. So, yeah, we left. Spent another week in Perth and then took a flight to Queensland where we began our journey in Bundaberg.

I completed most of my days in Bundaberg. Started in early Ausgust and left in late October. In the beginning, I have some of the best moments. It was such a good time and I met some of the best people. But when your living everyday with 90 other people, working together, eating together, and worst of all, constantly drinking together, drama starts. As I said before, I wasn't exactly at a good place in my mind when I went to Bundaberg. I drank a lot and my experience in the end wasn't good. I messed it up for myself and I regret that a lot. In the end, I needed to leave. Thankfully one of my best friends who I met in Melbourne, Stefan, was visitng me for the weekend when things really got out of hand I was able to leave with him. It was one of the toughest decisions, to leave Bundaberg. Things wern't good there in the end but I still always remebered how it was in the beginning and hoped it would go back to that. No matter what I knew at least that I could always cherish the good times and I'll always be there with open arms to anyone I ever was friends with. But I knew deep down that things wouldn't be how they were in the beginning and that was my fault, and I needed to leave and work onf myself because that's whats most important. My dad told me that he is able to go to sleep happy and without regret every night because he knows that if anything, he always treats others how he would want to be treated. That's something I live by now. So after months of packing macadamias, planting capsicum, and picking cherry tomatoes, I left. That's when Stefan and I started our trip from Bundaberg to Sydney.

We traveled the east coast for about 3 weeks camping along the way. Our first stop was rainbow beach. Then we went to Noosa, Brisbane, Surfers Paradise, Byron bay, Newcastle, and Sydney. We stoped at lots of other places that I could never remember the names of but it was such a good time. We saw so much and I finally got to live the camper life. We went to so many beautiful beaches, learned to surf, woke up to kangaroos, went swimming under a waterfall, cuddled with baby goats, and so much more. It was such a happy time and I finally got to see the parts of Australia I've only dreamed of. Bryon bay became the place where my soul really felt at home. I have never felt so at peace with a place in my life. I will of course do a whole seperate post about the east coast trip since I have tons of pictures!

In the end, I had to say bye to Stefan and go finish my farmwork. I have never been so nervous in my life as I have never done anything by myself. I found a little place called Fruitshack located in Leeton. Luckily, the amazing farmer who runs it had both work and room for me. At first it was just me and one other person then in the end we eneded up being 5 people. The fruitshack is basically far from everything so we spent our days after work just hanging out together. It was exactly what I needed at that point in my life. I had over a month to just think, connect with myself again, and distance myself from everyone else (besides my beautiful fruitshack family). I learned so much about myself during that time. I became a better me. I worked for a nearby farmer where I took care of orange trees, cutting them and doing things to help them grow. I really really enjoyed being in Leeton and could easily go back and do farm work that doesn't count for a visa. But all things come to an end and my reasons for going were achieved, goals were met. So off I went to Sydney.

Linnea and I decided we'd meet in Sydney and try to find work there. We got an apartment first in Coogee, then in Bondi. We spent one month looking for work but found nothing. Sydney is a lovely place. It's absolutely beautiful and has the best beaches I've seen. But it wasn't for me. It wasn't where I wanted to be living. The whole time I was there, I felt like something was missing. So instead of staying for 3 months like we had planned, we took a risk and came back to the place we call home- Melbourne. And that's where I am now and it's where I'm going to stay. Slowly, everything is falling in place. I'm happy and I feel more like me again. I'm getting back to my roots and it's easier than ever to do in this city. I don't know how to descibe the feeling I get in Melbourne but it's like a safe, homey feeling. I promise my next posts won't be 6 months away again xxx

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Börjar med att skriva att jag skulle använda bilder från Sverige vs England matchen. MEN eftersom att vi inte vann så använder jag brunchbilder istället... Vill inte bli påmind av vad som hände.... Iallafall, tänkte att jag kan skriva på svenska på min telefon och sen skicka det till min dator så att bloggen blir på svenska och engelska igen :) Har inte nämt på bloggen att jag sticker nästa vecka och ska göra min farm work så att jag kan stanna i Australien två år!! Jag måste jobba på en farm 88 dagar för att få detta visum.. Inte så taggad på farmjobb, men extremt taggad på att jag kommer att kunna stanna i det här underbara landet längre! Har inte hittat en farm än vilket gör mig lite stressad. Förhoppningsvis så löser jag det före nästan vecka då jag har sagt upp mig från jobbet och mitt boende... Håll tummarna! // Originally I was going to use pictures from the Sweden vs England match on my next post BUT since we didn't win it'll have to be these brunch pictures instead... I don't want to be reminded of what almost was.Haven't had a chance to write on here that I am leaving next week to do my farm work so that I can get my visa extended one year and stay here in Australia!! Basically I have to work on a farm for 88 days to extend my visa... not so excited about doing farm work but super excited that I can stay in this amazing country longer! I still haven't found a farm though, which makes me a bit stressed. Hopefully I find something by next week since I have already told my work and housemates that I am leaving.. cross your fingers

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Happy late Midsummer to all my Swedish loves! So strange to celebrate midsummer here in Australia... Not becuase I'm abroad since I've celebrated midsummer in Florida but because it's actually winter here (opposite seasons in Australia for you that didn't know). And yes, winter in Melbourne is COLD. Friday night which is midsummer eve (when you normally would celebrate) I was at my friends aparmtent with a some old and new friends. We ate some traditional midsummer food (kind of) and drank lots of snaps... tried singing the snaps songs but none of us knew all the words to any of them (bad Swedes haha). I actually made one of the snaps. First time ever making it but I think it turned out okay actually! After that we went out and had a good time. Then on Saturday my friend Elin who lives outside of Melbourne came down and we went to the Swedish church for traditional celebration. I knew that there were a lot of Swedes in Melbourne but wow there was really sooo many people there. So fun! We made 'midsommarkransar' ate sill and strawberry cake and all that good stuff! Made me miss Sweden even more. Hope you all had a great midsummer! I miss wrting in Swedish so I might look into buying a keyboard with the letters soon :)

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